it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
