I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just want nice things and good sex
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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