10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
