I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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