things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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