i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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