Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
