She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
