I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize