You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
