We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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