You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
MIDGETS
????
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
