worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Im part way to drunk.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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