why didn't you poke me back
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
