you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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