We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
