so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
