I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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