There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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