plz talk dirty to me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
