OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
