so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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