I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have aggressive nipples.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize