yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
