sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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