Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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