remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
