i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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