And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
