Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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