im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
