Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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