I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
