He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When are your genitals available?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
