how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
