i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
