We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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