It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
