I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
