I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
