so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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