I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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