Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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