it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
