his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
