you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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