So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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