I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
