so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
