so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
