my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize