if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
