Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
