Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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