apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So many bounce houses so little time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
