In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
time to smoke my breakfast
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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