420 ftw
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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