and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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