Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We need to get me chipped asap
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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