Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
